Member-only story
The Other Opposite of Narcissism, Echoism
You know about empaths, but what about echoists?
From an early age, I knew I didn’t want to grow up and be like my mother. She was self-centered, cold, and mostly disinterested in what anybody had to say, including me.
She’s a narcissist and has many other terrible qualities and personality traits besides narcissism. Still, she also has some good ones: a strong sense of self, an independent nature, and the ability to speak her mind without caring what other people think.
However, I refused to be like her in any way, which was just as unhealthy as if I had copied her every move and mood. I tend to keep my anger to myself, I people-please, and I take the blame for every mistake or relationship misstep on myself.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or parents, you tend to get traumatized repeatedly. It’s the reason why many survivors of narcissistic abuse suffer from PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You’re always ready to protect yourself yet at the same time convinced you’ll fail.
Narcissist abuse survivors rarely become narcissists themselves but tend to be the exact opposite of narcissists as empaths or echoists. We know what empaths are — people who are acutely tuned in to the emotions of those around them, but the label of echoist is less widely known.
Echoists lack a voice and are terrified of confrontation or disapproval.
While empaths are different from narcissists in their ability to see and feel things from other people’s perspectives, echoists contrast with narcissists in the way they shun the spotlight and stifle their own needs.
At the core of every echoist who grew up with a narcissistic parent is the desire not to be like them. Instead of going for a more balanced outlook or behavior, they act oppositely as a narcissist would.
No matter how much an echoist detests narcissistic personality traits, they still feel an urge for a narcissistic presence in their life.
Author and psychotherapist Donna Christina Savery writes in her book, Echoism: The Silenced Response, about the connection between echoists and narcissists.
“Almost invariably I have…
