Is Your Cat a Parasite? Here are 12 Jobs They Can Do to Stop Leeching Off You.
Cats have got it good.
They’ve trained us to fulfill their every need: we feed, pamper, and even clean up after them with very little thanks
Many cats think that they don’t even have to be nice in return for everything we do; all they have to do is look pretty and we’ll treat them like royalty.
On the other hand, dogs are always working.
Think about all the jobs that dogs perform: they’re service animals, they assist the police in their investigations, they work on bomb-squads, pull sleds, help people achieve their athletic goals, are companions, guard both businesses and homes, and some even work in the gourmet-food industry as truffle-sniffers.
How many cats do you know who have one job, let alone multiple jobs?
As far as being vital to the running of the world; dogs put cats to shame.
Cats have gotten good at mooching off their humans but there’s no reason why a cat can’t contribute to their household and get a job.
There are many jobs that cats can do to become more productive and find their purr-pose.
Cats make fantastic models because they have no bad angles:
Does your cat have a gift for modeling? Your cat’s talent may have been right in front of you and you didn’t even know it. Schedule a photo-session with your cat using props and costumes and going to fun locations. Teach them how to model from the top of their ears to the tips of their tails.
Many cats find creating art feeds their soul as well as their bellies:
If your cat has artistic leanings, allow them to follow their creative muses and see where it takes them. Your cat has probably already given you some clues to what medium they’re interested in working with. Do they tear up the toilet paper or put skid marks on your hardwood floors? What you may see as disgusting could be their way of expressing themselves. One cat’s litterbox may be another cat’s artistic canvas.
Cats make excellent non-traditional nurses:
When you’re sick, there’s nothing as comforting as having your cat sleeping next to you or on your head. They’re there making sure you’re okay and helping to keep you warm but without waking you up every fifteen minutes to take your vital signs or give you any medicine.
Cats may not have the reputation of being caring-nurturers but you are their primary meal-ticket and they need you to be healthy.
Cats don’t think of inspecting boxes as a job:
This is a job made for cats and many will perform it free of charge. Cats love boxes so much that it doesn’t matter how many boxes they’ve seen over their lifetime — every box is an opportunity to discover something new and have fun.
As thorough as cats are when it comes to checking every part of a box; they’re not good at documenting their findings. If you want a detailed report copied in triplicate, you’ll have to get your cat an assistant.
Cats are very good at dealing with bugs:
Josie, our Tortoiseshell cat’s primary occupation is as an exterminator. She works her ass off to keep any bug infestation at bay. Josie will sit waiting for a bug to come up our bathroom pipes and out through the faucet so that she can pounce on it.
You save money and avoid toxic chemicals when you hire your cat to be in charge of pest control.
There’s always a need for professional cat actors:
Contrary to Hollywood legends, people aren’t discovered the minute they decide to become an actor. They must learn the craft of acting by taking acting, improv, and movement classes. Classes aren’t cheap and neither are headshots, agents/managers, and gym-memberships. You will have to lay out some money and there’s no guarantee that after your cat has been trained as an actor that they’ll get any work as one.
Professional Paper Shredder:
If there’s one thing that cats love to do it’s to tear things to tiny bits. Paper napkins, scratch paper, or important documents; your cat would love to shred it. Shredding is an ability that comes to them naturally and so they wouldn’t need any training nor would they need to work as an apprentice.
The only catch is that cats don’t always want to shred the things you want shredded. However, if you use the trick of telling them not to shred your bank statements, they will.
Can you see your cat make a living as a massage therapist?
Most massage therapists must complete a training program that includes a minimum of 500-hours of practical experience. Many cats lack the motivation to finish a training program. Besides, the cat idea of therapeutic massage is walking on their human’s back or needing the human with their sharp claws until the human is writhing in pain.
Your cat may already be your personal- assistant:
You need someone to keep you on track and help you get things done. Cats are great at getting you up in the morning — they’re starving and need their breakfast. They can help you organize your paperwork by being a breathing paperweight and they are happy to train you to ignore distractions by playing with your computer keyboard as you’re trying to use it.
Is your cat a boss cat?
Some cats make great supervisors. They doing a great job of making sure that you’re doing your job well. You may think they’re micro-managing you but quality-control is extremely important to cats or they just like to judge humans.
“I’m listening’” says the cat-therapist:
If you’re going through something in your personal life, and your therapy session is next week, then talk to a cat-counselor. Cat therapists offer their services on a sliding scale of zero dollars. However, don’t be surprised if they yawn while you're sharing your innermost thoughts or leave suddenly when you’re in the middle of a breakthrough.
Don’t run up your power bill; encourage your cat to work as a heater:
This is seasonal work — the last thing anyone wants in hot and humid weather is a cat on them, but in the wintertime; it’s a different story.
Cats provide more heat than a heating pad or a hot water bottle. Put your cat on the schedule for those times when you need them warm up the bed on a chilly night and keep your toes toasty.
When finding a job for your cat, you may have to be creative and think outside the box. There are many jobs that cats can do to help their humans and pull their own weight.