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A Farewell to the Perfect Toast
They discontinued my favorite bread, and I’m not happy
My mother was known as what people in the 1960s referred to as a “health nut.” This meant she never let me have any fun snack foods, junk foods, or empty-calorie foods.
I was horribly embarrassed when anyone saw what my mother had packed in my Monkees lunchbox. It usually was carrot sticks, an apple, and a tuna sandwich on wheat bread — very gross and nutritious.
All this healthy crap made me lust for PB&J sandwiches made on white bread, chips, and cookies, but there was one good-for-you item I did like — Oroweat Honey Wheatberry bread.
I became a convert to Honey Wheatberry bread early on. I liked it even though it had actual wheat berries in it and had dense texture. Honey Wheatberry won me over fair and square in its toastability.
Not to brag, but I’m somewhat of a toast connoisseur. I have favorites: avocado toast with red pepper and lemon, day-old baguette aka a tartine with butter and jam, and seedless rye bread straight from the deli, with almost anything that brings out its flavor and its satisfying crunch.
As someone who doesn’t like eggs, toast is something I can eat for breakfast almost anywhere except homes of bread-eschewers.
If I’m forced to choose, my number # toast pick is Honey Wheatberry bread. It must be toasted almost to the point of burnt and topped with butter and a little honey. Add in a cup of tea, and that, my friends, is my perfect culinary moment.
Toast can be as much of a seduction device as a glass of fine wine or chocolate-dipped strawberries — ask my ex-boyfriend.
I don’t remember which came first — the slices becoming smaller or the increasing difficulty in finding it, but gradually, my preferred loaf went from everyday bread to a special treat.
I was deeply saddened when I found out that Honey Wheatberry has been discontinued.
What will I do for my special toast treat now?
Sure, English muffins are fantastic, crumpets are confusing, and bagels are wonderful, but they don’t satisfy the same way as a simple piece of wheatberry toast does.
