She finds it all so tedious — CW: Mentions of suicide and abuse. Shortly after my father died of a heart attack while walking through a sporting goods store, my mother and I got into a huge fight. This dispute was over where she should go in the line-up of eulogists at his funeral. Stroking her ego…

It was 1943; how was she to know he was on the run? — According to my mother, life used to be much simpler when she was growing up in the 1930s and 40s. They didn’t have the same kind of violence and anger that we do now. The truth is the past was equally as dangerous — especially for my mother, who came…

Someone has to uncover the deception — There’s a lot of misinformation, mythology, and downright lies about cats, and I want to clear up some of these falsehoods. In a past article, I talked about four lies we believe about cats — they instinctively know to eat what’s good for them, are discreet about their bathroom habits…

As if turning thirteen doesn’t suck enough already — I was barely 13 years old, but I could tell my party sucked. Watching the guests leave forty-five minutes after arriving was a clear sign that this wouldn’t be the grooviest birthday slumber party ever. And it wasn’t that I didn’t know what I was doing — I’d been having…

He was blonde, sarcastic, and completely uninterested in a romantic relationship with me. — Johnny Johnson (not his real name) was my second gay boyfriend but the only one I wrote poetry for. I lost most of the Johnny poems, though I do remember one of my favorite lines. “The elevator came, but I had already been brought down.” I was very profound, but…

When something unexpected happened at a B52s show — L.A. has the reputation of being a city of assholes, and there are times when you might think that rep is well-earned, such as when someone steals the parking space you’ve been waiting for or walks away from you at a party in search of someone who can help their…

Insecurity and innocence aren’t excuses for being an asshole — I almost had sex with Psycho Dave, and by almost, I mean I came way to close, and by psycho, I mean bonkers. I try not to use words like crazy or insane now, but back when this story takes place, psycho was almost a term of endearment. I don’t…

A small tribute to a great cat — Yoshi died two years ago, and because he brought us such joy, I thought a small tribute was in order. He was an extraordinarily beautiful and loving cat, and while I hate to admit it, all cats are held up to his standards and fall short. Why was Yoshi great? Yoshi was loyal and…

Looking for my place to belong — When I was six, I had my first round of swimming lessons. I’d been in the ocean and had splashed around in my backyard plastic pool; I hadn’t yet learned how to swim. My parents decided it was time for me to learn how to swim. I remember many of…