Published inThe Narrative Arc·PinnedMember-onlyWe Pretended To Be Our Parents to Right a Grievous WrongYou’re never too young to fight for justice — I’d like to state for the record that I wasn’t then nor am I now, bitter about not getting cast in our high school production of “South Pacific.” Being on the make-up crew with my friends Lynne, and Debbie was glory enough. “They’ll remember you,” my good friend Lauren said…The Narrative Arc7 min readThe Narrative Arc7 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·PinnedMember-onlyI’m 62. Is It Too Late to Start Lying About My Age?I meant to say, I’m 42…yeah, that’s right, 42 — The first rule of lying about your age is never to reveal your real age, and the second is to start early. Really early, like at birth. Why, oh why, couldn’t my parents have procrastinated in filling out my birth certificate or delayed putting me in school right away? I…Aging5 min readAging5 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·PinnedMember-onlyI Made the Unforgivable Mistake of Trying to Help Him with His ComedyI should have known better — Funny women can be terrifying to men. It makes sense because even the dumbest jokes, stupidest physical comedy, and grossest potty jokes take a fair amount of intelligence. You have to understand what something is before you can make fun of it. Smart women can be scary to those threatened…The Narrative Arc6 min readThe Narrative Arc6 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·PinnedMember-onlyWhether You Know It or Not, You’ve Touched Someone’s LifeMost likely a lot of lives — A few months back, I had a phone conversation with a woman I hadn’t spoken to in over forty years. The conversation was fascinating on many levels but one of the most important things I learned was that you don’t always know the difference you are making in someone’s life. …Personal Essay5 min readPersonal Essay5 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·PinnedMember-onlyMy Mother Predicted Her Imminent Death Five Years Ago, but She’s Outliving EverybodyShe only wants to outlive her pets — When Harry Belafonte died at age ninety-six, I couldn’t wait to tell my ninety-eight-year-old mother. This may seem morbid to you, as if I was saying, “Your time has come,” but it’s actually the opposite. …Nonfiction4 min readNonfiction4 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·20 hours agoMember-onlyMy Mother’s Fierce Independence and Strong Will Prevents Her From Accepting the Help She NeedsShe’s never been a believer in the easy way — I laugh when friends use words like make or force in regard to my mother. She’s 98-years-old, basically bedridden, but no one can make her do anything. As her family, we’re too scared of what she might do to push it. She’s almost entirely deaf but refuses to use any…Aging5 min readAging5 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·2 days agoMember-onlyWhile My Mother’s Sanity Slips Away, I Make My Father’s Potato SaladWhen nothing makes sense, performing simple tasks can help — Yesterday, one of my mother’s caregivers, Rachel, called so I could do a video call with my mother. She couldn’t work out the video part, so she handed the phone to my mother who’d just woken up from a napmare. I could tell my mother was extremely agitated because of…The Narrative Arc4 min readThe Narrative Arc4 min read
Published inMiddle-Pause·May 23Member-onlyI Agreed to Speak at My Friend’s Funeral Because I Didn’t Think I’d Have to Keep My PromiseShe thinks I’ll lighten the mood — “Promise me, you’ll speak at my funeral,” my friend, D, said. “I know you’ll be funny, and I don’t want everybody to be sad when I’m gone.” She’s always thinking of others and wants to ensure her funeral isn’t a downer. D is religious enough to be looking forward to…Women4 min readWomen4 min read
Published inCatness·May 22Member-onlySenior Class Superlatives for My CatsAnother excuse to post pictures of my cats — My cats aren’t street-smart or book-smart. They’re cute-smart. Here’s the good thing — they don’t have to be brilliant at anything. Their only job is to look adorable, and the world is their oyster. Though they don’t get served oysters — that would be wasteful! That’s not to say they’re…Cats4 min readCats4 min read
Published inIn for a Penny·May 19Member-onlyI’m Not an Astrologist, but Here’s What I’ve Learned Writing Hundreds of Articles about the Zodiac SignsI can’t create an astrological chart to save my life — When I say I’ve written hundreds of Zodiac pieces I’m not exaggerating. It may be closer to over a thousand. I wrote five zodiac pieces a week for over a year even though I’ve never had any schooling in astrology. Google it, if you don’t believe me. I stopped writing…Listicles5 min readListicles5 min read
